A Month of Emotions

It has been one of those days...you know the ones where EVERYTHING seems to go completely wrong. One of those, that even when something wonderful takes place, you have a hard time being happy about it. Unfortunately, that day turned into a month!

It started in the beginning of November. My mother-in-law became very ill and bed-ridden. We were uncertain of what was going on. In September, she seemed happy and healthy, aside from her regular medical conditions. Then all of a sudden, she is sick and in bed. She went and had some test done and we were told it was cancer. The most aggressive form the hospital had ever seen. They told us that there was nothing that they could do other than send her home and make her comfortable. They told us that they expect that we have a few weeks, possibly a month. We were preparing for the month. She came home and a week later, she WENT home. She was a beautiful and loving woman. A child of God. So when I say she WENT home, she went to our Heavenly Father! She had prepared us for this without even letting us know. She told all of us goodbye in her own way. She even wrote her final goodbye that my sister-in-law read at the memorial. She was a woman that gave and cared for others before thinking of herself. Even in this, she did the same. She donated her body to our local school of medicine, so that they could study, learn, and research for a cure/treatment for cancer. I always thought that one of the toughest thing I would ever do was reading a letter that I wrote to my Granddaddy at his funeral, I found out different. Loosing my brother was the toughest, so far. Performing "Amazing Grace" at her memorial was next.

My husband has been doing well. He has had his moments, and days, but God is bringing him through. We celebrated our 11th anniversary on December 13. It was bitter sweet. His mother was always the first person to call us and wish a happy anniversary. Then again, she was always the first one to call and wish us a happy whatever the occasion was. However, this was not the only reason that it was bitter sweet. On December 9th, we had our own cancer scare. The doctors believed that me husband had colon cancer. They scheduled a colonoscopy for the 15th. We were relying on God to heal him and for the results to be negative. PRAISE GOD, they were. We went yesterday morning and they performed the procedure. The nurse came and got me after he woke. As we were walking back she says, "He's out. Everything we fine. Everything can back negative. He's right here. The doctor will be in shortly." All I could say was, "THANK YOU JESUS!" He answered our prayers. That's the wonderful thing that happened in the midst of our storm that we are happy about, but are having a hard time rejoicing in. You see, the first person he wanted to call, we couldn't.

I've heard people say, "How much more can you handle?" or "I don't know how you do it." Here is the thing: I don't. GOD gives me, and my family, the strength to handle it. If it were not for HIM, I would not be able to deal with any of this. Don't get me wrong, I've had my moments of breaking down or going off on people. It's difficult. I'm not perfect. I pray for God get me through this. It's a one day at a time situation. I know that ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH HIM! It's just been a time for my entire family. All of us have our own trials that we are facing at this time. However, all of us a praying for each other and relying on God to bring ALL of US through it. HE will bring us through and we will all be closer to each other and GOD! We have to remember to praise him in the good and bad times that we face. HE has us at all times. HE loves us and cares for us. HE is ALMIGHTY, LOVING, and there whenever we call. PRAISE YOU, FATHER, for loving us and strengthening us all.